God Warned Me But My Husband Deceived Me Into Marriage.

by Beth
(California)

He was and still is very handsome, intelligent, witty, skillful, and kind. I was and still funny, smart, woman of talents and skills whose life was so transformed by the Lord.

We met at work but did not begin to date till almost a year later. Blinded, even after finding porn magazines in his home (which he said he would give up), but the Lord spoke clear shortly after. I needed to choose serving Him or continue in this unequally yoked relationship. I chose the Lord.

He was not happy when I said the Lord will always be first in my life and no man shall replace Him but will always be second. I asked he not contact me. As we both moved on from the workplace we had met.

Weeks passed, I received a call he wanted to meet and speak with me. Long story short, he asked to come to church, had given his heart, surrendered his life (or so I believed he did)to the Lord. He felt a calling on his life to pastor.

He served as the Singles Leader at the church he was attending. We married, went to the church he was attending. He was ordained and served as Assistant Pastor. The Lord called us to serve with a different Pastor, receiving blessings and release, moved and he began serving as an Associate.

He bought a home computer and soon the internet porn began. I discovered it, confronted him, he blamed it on our 3 year old son playing on the computer. Lies began. He was addicted and in denial. I prayed, wept, cursed. He was sly and cunning. I couldn't expose him, he continued on, telling me I am the one who has the issues no matter how much I tried to please, do almost whatever he asked me to do as his wife.

He sent me to counseling but refused to get counseled. We moved again and it continues on though he no longer serves as Pastor. The lies, internet continue, now the affairs, no accountability or responsibility to the marriage.

Still in denial though I have caught, called him out on it. I have wanted to leave so many times but felt the Lord tell me not yet. When will this end? I must be insane to stay in this marriage!